So, like I said in my Instagram post a couple weeks back, I’ve always felt a bit self-conscious about posting photos of myself or really sharing my life with the world. I was bullied a fair amount about my height and weight growing up and somewhere along the way developed a really unhealthy perception of my body and my look altogether. Honestly, I think that unhealthy relationship had a large part of what got me so interested in fashion and beauty in the first place. I was always striving to learn new and different ways to represent myself and make myself look more “beautiful”. This is my ugly truth and I don’t find it easy to share this part of myself with an audience. BUT, in my experience, there are a lot of people out there that feel exactly the same way and maybe all for different reasons and I think it’s important to be part of the conversation.
So before I totally go off on a tangent about body positivity no one can follow, let me give you a little background about my life and what has propelled me down this path. I have worked in retail on and off for years now. After college, I had a really hard time getting a good job and started taking part-time retail jobs to support myself and also in hopes of getting more experience in the fashion and beauty industry. One of the first jobs I took was at a small franchised boutique. I had applied for the assistant manager job, been turned down due to lack of experience and ended up taking a part-time key-holder position. Within the week, the assistant manager who was hired was let go and I assumed her role. Within a couple weeks after that, the store manager left the company and, I, the girl who had been turned down from lack of experience for the assistant manager job, assumed HER role. For the next 6 months, I was the acting store manager of that store. At that point, I had enough experience to move on to a different corporate company where I could make more money. Within about 6 months at that job, I realized the corporate retail world wasn’t for me and I moved on to help manage a privately owned designer boutique. Here I worked in all aspects of the business from day-to-day tasks, to private styling sessions with regular clients, to helping manage and establish the businesses eCommerce store, to producing and maintaining content for the businesses social media sites. I eventually decided to leave retail for teaching but we’ll get to that a little bit more later. In addition to all this I’ve done beauty blogging freelance for several different companies, I worked at a beauty box start-up as an intern, I’ve worked at events during Austin fashion week behind the scenes and worked as a clothing model for those same events.
I say all of this to demonstrate just how much this has been part of my journey in life. For years now, since that first internship at the start-up company I have been wanting to start a personal blog. And through all of those years of work in retail, that feeling never went away. I kept making up excuses for why I wouldn’t be successful and was holding myself back for some reason or another. I didn’t think anyone would care what I have to say or think I was pretty enough or thin enough to be successful. I thought, people will judge me and say mean things about me behind my back. But really, who cares? I shouldn’t. You shouldn’t.
Now, as someone who has been in a classroom with high school students, I see more and more the effects social media has on our society and our youth and I feel like as a woman who has battled my own body image issues for years, there’s really no excuse left for me not to be a part of the conversation. I truly believe in the message of spreading body positivity and it’s not just for ladies who are curvier like me, it’s for everyone out there that sees images of others and compares themselves to others or wishes they could look a different way. I’ve had conversations with some of the most beautiful thin young girls who just rip themselves apart and have such low self esteem. This truly breaks my heart as I know first-hand how hard self-acceptance can be. I also think there should be more honesty and vulnerability on social media because let’s face it, we all have flaws. None of us are as perfect as some of these posts suggest and we all have struggles and hardships in life. Let’s talk about those things too. So, with this blog, that’s what I intend to do. I know with certainty that there will be a lot of bumps along the way and maybe a lot of you don’t care about my life, IDK, but I think if it can even help one person or one of my students like some of these bloggers have helped me, I will have done a good thing. Andy and I have decided to move abroad for a bit and it is the perfect opportunity for me to really embrace this endeavor. I am so excited to begin this journey and a lot scared. But I would love to share some of this knowledge I have gained through the years and use this blog as an outlet to express myself creatively and share a positive message.
And to those of you who have already started following along or who have always supported me, thanks so much. I cannot wait to share this experience with you all!